I was afraid to do story work, as I knew there were many areas of my life that would be exposed and I preferred to 'let sleeping dogs lie'. However, I began to engage my own story in earnest two years ago after having a crisis in my wife’s family and seeing my unwanted behaviors spike.

I made some progress in unearthing stories through weekly counseling, but I still felt stuck in both sexual and non-sexual unwanted behaviors. At this point, I scheduled my three-day intensive with Jay.

The main story we discussed involved my relationship with my father. Jay was able to help me unpack the story arc of my formative years through the lens of my father and mother in a way that I had never considered. I never thought about how these primary relationships created the relationship I have with my wife and daughter in such obvious and concrete ways.

My intensive influenced me to take ownership of how I have caused harm to the immediate relationships of my life and apologize. I don’t think I had every truly apologized for something in my life without defending myself at least a little bit.

Jay invited me to step into restorative rhythms in my life, which has led to a weekly group being formed within my community. Jay came and spoke to my community about where unwanted behaviors came from last year, which led to us launching our own story group in which we share together and heal together. 

Jay’s book “Unwanted” has been a formative book for my discipleship group to better understand how our soul’s are shaped. It would be difficult to quantify how much I appreciated my intensive with Jay and the ongoing relationship we have had.

This intensive changed my life. 

 -Andrew Martin

After 24 years of marriage, I was rocked to the core of my being after discovering my husband’s infidelity and betrayal. I not only felt betrayed by him but also by God. I arrived at my three-day intensive shattered and broken. Through my work with Jay, I am being restored in profound ways that I never knew were remotely possible. This journey has not been easy, but my intensive has given me hope for a new future that’s filled with anticipation for a more meaningful and deeply connected life.

Jay has a remarkable gift of helping people heal. Like a great surgeon with precision, he has gone into some deeply rooted traumatic areas of my life that I never would have acknowledged. This excavation of my story is actually allowing me to experience freedom from the debris of so much sexual brokenness. My intensive shined light in the darkness and invited me to see my beauty. I’m forever grateful for my intensive.

-Heidi Isaias

I had the privilege of participating in Jay’s three-day intensive coaching and with zero over-emphasis I can say it was the most life-changing experience of my life.

Jay’s narrative approach helped me dig into very formative years that I had previously glossed over. He provided language to the truth I had experienced and provided a pathway to freedom steeped in the grace and goodness of my personal faith. Our time together felt as if I was sitting down with a deeply insightful, caring friend who thoughtfully prodded me towards wholeness that I desperately needed. 

The organizational structure of the three days was well thought through where we would meet for an hour or two, take a break and repeat for the business hours of the days I was there. This provided space for me to process what we were discussing and he had recommendations of how my free time could be structured. I was concerned the three days would feel constantly heavy and while there was some truth to that, I left Jay’s office feeling lighter than I had in years.

For anyone considering this intensive time with Jay, I would recommend him and his methodology to any person seeking freedom from what has bound them up. His expertise, research-based approach and insight is honestly invaluable. I believe no one can leave time with Jay unchanged.

-Patrick O.